Are you on solid ground? 

I'm sitting in an Amsterdam water view cafe with my lap top working on my website. My overall mood and feeling is one of gratitude and appreciation. I feel so blessed with my life. My son's dad is looking after him, freeing me to chase my own dreams or butterflies. And when I choose to not think of all the challenges ahead, or anything that ails me or fails, all feels well in my world. 

And as i was sitting here filled with appreciation for this minute right here and now, I was about to close a browser tab. It was showing a book by Jeff Foster called Falling In Love With Where You Are. it made me smile. How fitting because I'm actually in love with this wonderful little spot in Amsterdam. Lovely sunshine, pretty girls sunbathing, teenage boys making happy teenage sounds in the river. And then just before closing the tab, I saw the following quote:


I love my ability to look at the bright side of life, but... I'm living in a yin/yang world of duality and opposites. The very joy of life also faces me with its opposites. All the fun and games can be swished away in a split second. This ground underneath my feet may seem very real, but how real is it?

This quote immediately brought one of my favorite songs in my setlist to mind. The song elicits very diverse responses in my listeners. I for one find it very reassuring. And when i'm feeling the blues, this is my go to song. Some people find it rather disconcerting and upsetting. It's a cover song, by the gifted singer-songwriter, minister, chanting leader Jody Kessler. The song is entitled No Solid Ground. I love it, because it helps me connect with life beyond my mere mortalness.

Here are some of the lyrics to the song:

Well you can stomp your feet, or you can pussy foot around
You can dig your heels in deep, or you can lie down on the ground
You can pick up the pace or you can slow down
But there is no solid ground for you to walk on

This world we live in... is simply just a notion
Everything we touch is in perpetual motion
Clouds drifting through an endless sky
We can't hold them in our hands no matter how we try

Well you could try to run or you could try to crawl
And if you really are resourceful you can scale the wall
You'd better learn to dance while you're in free fall
'Cause there is no solid ground for you to walk on

And here's a YouTube video of it I made when I just started out sharing my music beyond the audience in my living room. Too nervous I think to even look into the camera. A couple of years ago I was too embarrassed to even look at these older videos. Now I can't find anything wrong with them. They're part of an amazing journey.

I still find comfort in singing these lyrics. It's like a shortcut to a place of surrender I often leave to identify with this body I am inhabiting with greater and greater ease. How about you? Do you love this message too, or have a completely different perspective? Do share, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

My least favorite lesson to learn 

MY ASS 

Last month I spent some time in Cornwall, England, with my son Flynn and his dad, to look after our friends' teenage daughter. With the major life challenges they were facing, gardening had not been top-of-mind for them, so I had promised to do some gardening while there.  I was happily weeding away when my search for a broom caused me to slip on some wooden steps with the speed of light. 

i yelled out in agony, and with a little help from my friend, Flynn’s dad, I made my way indoors. It was a painstaking journey to my bed, and when my mental faculties returned, my mind raced as I envisioned days of being bedridden, when I so wanted to walk the Cornish coastal path. But after a few rounds of FasterEFT I couldn't wait to try and stand up and test my walking skills. Thank god for tapping. 

MY LEAST FAVORITE LESSON 

It was in no way fun to fall on my ass, but that is not why I am writing this message. This is about my least favorite lesson to learn: to slow down. Just two simple words, but it's been an ongoing theme in my life. It is certainly not the first time I took a fall and was forced to rest and take it a whole lot easier. Left on my own, you find me rushing thru life. It’s a good thing I have learned to meditate, and it is an even better thing that I’m a singer, which is one of the best things you can do for your health and really helps me slow down and enjoy the moment. 

ROME 

A few days later, when I was getting back on my feet a little bit, I fell again. Not on my tail bone this time, but on my knees. Thank you, universe, I think I’m getting the message now. I’m too impatient and keep forgetting that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I want it all now, and I most certainly don’t want to sit around and wait for it. 

MY DEEPEST DESIRE 

A couple of years back, around the time I was faced with and embraced my autism diagnosis, I was going thru a rough time and ended up applying for government support. It never felt quite comfortable to be on welfare, but since I began to use FasterEFT a lot of my issues started to fall away, and it was now time to get back on my own financial feet. I decided to seriously work on my money mindset, so I can start making a living doing the things I love. A lot of shifts began to take place, the most important one of which I had not expected. I could no longer deny my deepest desire: to pursue a music career, no holding back! Taking the risk to land on my ass, figuratively speaking this time. To lose everything but gain more: being true to myself. 

NO HOLDING BACK 

And so there was literally no holding back: I joined an online academy for female musicians, ideas came flooding in, and I could think of nothing else. Yes, thank you, I’ll have that music career, universe. Now, please. But that’s not how things work. Life is still a journey. In this time and space reality we still need to do things step by step. 

SLOW DOWN 

My double fall made me realize once again that all is well. Right this minute. Yes, I can’t wait to share my music with the world, yes, I  can’t wait to bring out an album. Or 10! But all is well here and now too. It’s okay to trust that the path will still be here tomorrow, next week, and next month. Knowing that it will unfold itself as I take my steps, one at a time. It’s okay to build my future one song, one live stream, one gig and one blog post at a time. Here and now. 

All this reminded me of a song I wrote over ten years ago: Slow Down. Yes, ten years ago. I told you it has been an ongoing theme. So I took it out and started singing it again. 

And I felt I needed to finally record it, because I doubt that I’m the only person who wants to be or do too much at times. For spiritual beings having a physical experience it can be a challenge to live a linear life. Add a good dose of creativity to that, and a constant flow of ideas going thru your head, and the challenge becomes even greater. 

It’s really beneficial to step back now and again, to slow down. Get back to this moment, feed your soul and remember what it’s all about. 

So now let’s sing: 

Slow down, slow down 

Don't try to outpace the river 

Let it run its course

Slow down, slow down  
Don't try to outpace the river  
Let it run its course

A little girl gave me an unusual gift 



Last night I was chanting with a group of people in remembrance of a dear friend that passed away 10 years ago. There was a couple there with a toddler who from the moment we started singing started to fumble and express her displeasure with the fact that we were singing. She was invited to just sit and listen, but even that couldn't make her happy. 

So, here I was happily plucking my guitar strings, pretty undisturbed, probably because of the calming effect of the chanting, but still wondering if there was something I could do. Now usually, a few notes into a child that young hearing me sing, she will gaze at me or come up close and just watch and listen. Yesterday I had the opposite effect. 

I came well prepared to chant, and had my set list filled with mantras, but wished I would have brought some kid friendlier songs. And that is when the gift happened. There is this lovely little poem by a noted Dutch comedian that I put to song, and I have sung so many times that I know it by heart. Now, mind you, there are songs that I've sung and performed for 10 years, and I will still need my lyrics and chords, because I can get so lost in a song that I don't remember the words or chords. So, I the 10 years or so that I've performed I've never done so without my music in front of me. 

But this was an emergency. And I just sang the cute little song by heart. The little girl was not amused... but the rest of my audience was. It was a nice light hearted intermezzo that made me feel really good. And as I'm writing this, I'm going to commit to doing one song by heart every time I perform. It's okay to experiment, the people I get to sing for and with are my friends, and they love to see me flourish and grow. 

Thank you, little Fleur, for your gift of honestly expressing how you felt. it helped me take an important step. 

She ended up leaving the room with her dad, well taken care of, and we ended up enjoying some more precious moments of connecting with those we love, on this plane and the next, through the power of music. 
 

The one thing we all know is true, but still don't believe... 

love putting affirmational and inspirational words to music. Often I will listen to an inspirational video on YouTube, and I’ll slip right into composing mode. I’ll hear a melody in my head, while I’m listening to the words. I just can’t help myself.  

This happened when I watched a video on Marisa Peer’s YouTube channel, of a lecture she gave on the power of believing we are (not) enough. As I was watching the last few minutes of her lecture, I began to sing along with the words. And within half an hour I had a recording of a song on my phone. I’ve been singing it in the shower, in the car, while waiting in line, waiting on the phone: 

I don’t see myself as so horribly lacking and faulty and ugly and what not as I did a few decades ago. A much larger part of me now knows that I am enough, but I’m going for complete and utter enoughness.  

If there is an inkling of a feeling that you’re not quite enough just as you are, I invite you to sing along with me.  



Make the negative unfamiliar  
Make the positive really strong  
Change the pictures and words in your head  
Change your mind  
Tell your brain what you want  
Make the familiar unfamiliar  

I have chosen to do this  
I have chosen to feel great about this  

I am enough, I am enough, I am enough, I am enough  
I am, I, I am enough 
 

Granted, one song isn’t going to make you a happy person. You’ll need to look at the inner proof you have of why you don’t feel enough about yourself. But every little thing counts. And the very least it will do is lift your spirit, which can make a big difference to how you go about the rest of your day.

Good things come to those who ask 

For the past 6 years now my fans have been asking me for a CD, and all those years I've been telling them it was in the works. But the truth is that it wasn't. At some point it got embarrassing to even say it anymore; t felt like an empty promise. During that same time period, I was diagnosed with autism, and I began to understand what made it so difficult for me to get my act together and just go out there and make the album. There is so much organisation and planning involved — not part of my natural skill set — and technical issues to solve and a myriad of decisions to be made. Add to that my problems with over-stimulation, I just didn't know where to start, and I ended up not doing anything at all. Not following my dreams... not really. 

Then, last year, two major things changed. I began to clear a lot of the autism related symptoms that had made my world pretty small, over-stimulation being a major one. I learned a lot about how the mind worked, studying Faster EFT, did a lot of tapping, and slowly but surely, all the stuff that was holding me back disappeared into the background. 

And I began to bow my head. Not as a way of giving up, but as a signal to the universe and whoever was listening that I couldn't do it on my own. It was a gesture of surrender. With my thoughts and feelings, I began to ask the universe for help. And in response to that same, sometimes insanely urgent question by my fans for a CD, I began to say: "Yes, I really, really want to make an album! And I know I can do the creative part, but there are so many other bits and pieces I'm not good at and need help with. Once I have found someone who can help me with all that other stuff, it's going to happen." 

Good things come to those that ask. Because lo and behold, someone in my audience came up to me and offered her help. And I decided to go with it, and trust the universe. And it began to respond. We had a trial session at Triple Moon Studios, and I loved it. Then and there it was decided that the guitar tracks will be played by a guitarist, so I'm free to do what I love most: singing my songs. I'm comfortable singing into a microphone, and it feels great not to have to worry about the guitar tracks, because I know they'll be taken care of. And I loved not hiding away behind my guitar and being able to sing standing on my two happy feet. 

Now that I've let go of my blocks to asking for help, things are getting so much easier. The only things holding me back, the only real problems, when it comes to birthing a CD, is my mindset. And I'm so grateful to have tools like FasterEFT and Access Consciousness to help me deal with those and unleash the powerful creator that I am.

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