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Are you on solid ground? 

I'm sitting in an Amsterdam water view cafe with my lap top working on my website. My overall mood and feeling is one of gratitude and appreciation. I feel so blessed with my life. My son's dad is looking after him, freeing me to chase my own dreams or butterflies. And when I choose to not think of all the challenges ahead, or anything that ails me or fails, all feels well in my world. 

And as i was sitting here filled with appreciation for this minute right here and now, I was about to close a browser tab. It was showing a book by Jeff Foster called Falling In Love With Where You Are. it made me smile. How fitting because I'm actually in love with this wonderful little spot in Amsterdam. Lovely sunshine, pretty girls sunbathing, teenage boys making happy teenage sounds in the river. And then just before closing the tab, I saw the following quote:

I love my ability to look at the bright side of life, but... I'm living in a yin/yang world of duality and opposites. The very joy of life also faces me with its opposites. All the fun and games can be swished away in a split second. This ground underneath my feet may seem very real, but how real is it?

This quote immediately brought one of my favorite songs in my setlist to mind. The song elicits very diverse responses in my listeners. I for one find it very reassuring. And when i'm feeling the blues, this is my go to song. Some people find it rather disconcerting and upsetting. It's a cover song, by the gifted singer-songwriter, minister, chanting leader Jody Kessler. The song is entitled No Solid Ground. I love it, because it helps me connect with life beyond my mere mortalness.

Here are some of the lyrics to the song:

Well you can stomp your feet, or you can pussy foot around
You can dig your heels in deep, or you can lie down on the ground
You can pick up the pace or you can slow down
But there is no solid ground for you to walk on

This world we live in... is simply just a notion
Everything we touch is in perpetual motion
Clouds drifting through an endless sky
We can't hold them in our hands no matter how we try

Well you could try to run or you could try to crawl
And if you really are resourceful you can scale the wall
You'd better learn to dance while you're in free fall
'Cause there is no solid ground for you to walk on

And here's a YouTube video of it I made when I just started out sharing my music beyond the audience in my living room. Too nervous I think to even look into the camera. A couple of years ago I was too embarrassed to even look at these older videos. Now I can't find anything wrong with them. They're part of an amazing journey.

I still find comfort in singing these lyrics. It's like a shortcut to a place of surrender I often leave to identify with this body I am inhabiting with greater and greater ease. How about you? Do you love this message too, or have a completely different perspective? Do share, I'd love to hear your thoughts.





My least favorite lesson to learn 


Last month I spent some time in Cornwall, England, with my son Flynn and his dad, to look after our friends' teenage daughter. With the major life challenges they were facing, gardening had not been top-of-mind for them, so I had promised to do some gardening while there.  I was happily weeding away when my search for a broom caused me to slip on some wooden steps with the speed of light. 

i yelled out in agony, and with a little help from my friend, Flynn’s dad, I made my way indoors. It was a painstaking journey to my bed, and when my mental faculties returned, my mind raced as I envisioned days of being bedridden, when I so wanted to walk the Cornish coastal path. But after a few rounds of FasterEFT I couldn't wait to try and stand up and test my walking skills. Thank god for tapping. 


It was in no way fun to fall on my ass, but that is not why I am writing this message. This is about my least favorite lesson to learn: to slow down. Just two simple words, but it's been an ongoing theme in my life. It is certainly not the first time I took a fall and was forced to rest and take it a whole lot easier. Left on my own, you find me rushing thru life. It’s a good thing I have learned to meditate, and it is an even better thing that I’m a singer, which is one of the best things you can do for your health and really helps me slow down and enjoy the moment. 


A few days later, when I was getting back on my feet a little bit, I fell again. Not on my tail bone this time, but on my knees. Thank you, universe, I think I’m getting the message now. I’m too impatient and keep forgetting that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I want it all now, and I most certainly don’t want to sit around and wait for it. 


A couple of years back, around the time I was faced with and embraced my autism diagnosis, I was going thru a rough time and ended up applying for government support. It never felt quite comfortable to be on welfare, but since I began to use FasterEFT a lot of my issues started to fall away, and it was now time to get back on my own financial feet. I decided to seriously work on my money mindset, so I can start making a living doing the things I love. A lot of shifts began to take place, the most important one of which I had not expected. I could no longer deny my deepest desire: to pursue a music career, no holding back! Taking the risk to land on my ass, figuratively speaking this time. To lose everything but gain more: being true to myself. 


And so there was literally no holding back: I joined an online academy for female musicians, ideas came flooding in, and I could think of nothing else. Yes, thank you, I’ll have that music career, universe. Now, please. But that’s not how things work. Life is still a journey. In this time and space reality we still need to do things step by step. 


My double fall made me realize once again that all is well. Right this minute. Yes, I can’t wait to share my music with the world, yes, I  can’t wait to bring out an album. Or 10! But all is well here and now too. It’s okay to trust that the path will still be here tomorrow, next week, and next month. Knowing that it will unfold itself as I take my steps, one at a time. It’s okay to build my future one song, one live stream, one gig and one blog post at a time. Here and now. 

All this reminded me of a song I wrote over ten years ago: Slow Down. Yes, ten years ago. I told you it has been an ongoing theme. So I took it out and started singing it again. 

And I felt I needed to finally record it, because I doubt that I’m the only person who wants to be or do too much at times. For spiritual beings having a physical experience it can be a challenge to live a linear life. Add a good dose of creativity to that, and a constant flow of ideas going thru your head, and the challenge becomes even greater. 

It’s really beneficial to step back now and again, to slow down. Get back to this moment, feed your soul and remember what it’s all about. 

So now let’s sing: 

Slow down, slow down 

Don't try to outpace the river 

Let it run its course

Slow down, slow down  
Don't try to outpace the river  
Let it run its course